Has anyone seen the remote??

It’s gone missing again. Just like when you’ve been waiting all week for a certain program or film the remote disappears. It’s found later down the back of the sofa, halfway through whatever it was you wanted to watch. Well I have that problem, not with the t.v. remote though, but with the remote that turns my brain off. You know the one that sticks it on pause while my eyes are closed, allows for rewinding aspects of the day, fast forwarding to things that may be in the future and allows you to switch off and indulge in some happy fantasies. Unfortunately the last few times I did find the remote and got some sleep (medically induced by the wonderdrug zopiclone) I got stuck on the horror channel and woke up my hubby (and me) and possibly half the street, by screaming the place down.

 

So here I am again wondering how the hell to turn my head off, how to stop the palpitations and jittery feeling I get everytime I close my eyes. I know it’s just an anxiety attack, I know I’m NOT having a heart attack, but it bloody well feels like it. And then there’s my head, thinking always thinking. If I’m not writing a story or poem in my head, I’m thinking about the packing, the moving, the fact we’ve got nowhere to move to. Thinking about stuff at work, what I’m in the middle of doing, what needs finishing, what needs starting etc etc. And when all that is still, all that is quiet and there’s nothing left to think about bloody songs start merrily singing away in my head, perhaps snippets of adverts, War of the Worlds, JC Superstar, Oldies, Classics, new stuff.

 

I just want to be able to flick the switch, lay me down to sleep, close my eyes and actually sleep. I tried counting sheep – they were too noisy so my dragon ate them. Maybe the resulting indigestion kept me awake that night? Tried hot baths just before bed, tried hot chocolate as my last drink, hell I’ve even tried sex and enjoyable as it was, I still didn’t sleep 😦

 

I wonder if decapitation would work? Or a huge hammer to the head, although that may result in a headache which would again keep me awake.

 

Oh well it’s 5am, the birds are quiet, I have noticed them being quieter when dawn breaks, perhaps there are less of them as they’ve flown the nests, or the local cats have eaten them all? Shame really as that usually worked to get me to sleep, listening to their chorus. Another cuppa and then try again, attempt to get a couple of hours at least. And I still miss having a cigarette, six months smoke free and Godess did I crave one when I gave up trying to sleep and got up again at 3.30am.

 

Wish me luck and hopefully nice dreams not nasty ones

Dear Mr Sandman

The Dragon Sanctuary

22/06/14 @ 07.45am

 

Dear Mr Sandman,

I would like to find out just what I have done to upset you. You don’t call in during the evenings anymore, you pay a fleeting visit round about the time the birds wake up on your way to some other part of the world. When you do visit or let me visit your dreamland the visions you give are so realistic it doesn’t feel like I have slept at all, or wake my hubby and the rest of the street up with my screaming.

Is it because you are mad at me for eating the sheep instead of counting them? Is it because traditionally Dragons sleep for a few hundred years at a time therefore have to be awake for a few hundred years? Is it because the Dragon fell in love with the Demon and Demons Don’t Dream?

The way you tease me is getting quite annoying, you throw the sand in my eyes, open my mouth in huge yawns, make me feel like I just can’t stay awake and yet as soon as my head hits that pillow BANG. You run away and desert me, leaving me in a kind of limbo till I get fed up of watching the shadows on the wall, waiting for the birds to wake up, and then get up to make some tea as all that happens is I get more and more annoyed.

Mr Sandman I’m sorry. Whatever I have done I apologise for. Please come back to visit me.

 

Yours hopefully

 

Violett Dragonlady

Why the Dragons ate the Sheep

My pet dragon

I hate suffering from insomnia. At least once a week I am awake all night so get up out of frustration and the rest of the time my sleep isn’t so much broken but smashed into smithereens.

The doctor reluctantly gave me some sleeping pills which are great – when nightmares don’t wake me and if I can do nothing the day after as I’m left looking and acting like a zombie. (some might not notice the difference anyway)

One well-known piece of advice is to count sheep. Sounds great until while you are counting them you suddenly find yourself in the middle of a snowstorm and lose half of the buggers. Then there’s the noise from the bleating, whatever happened to The Silence of the Lambs?? These were anything but silent.

Anyway, I was getting quite annoyed by now and very irritable, being very tired and unable to sleep kind of does that to me and as I have a teenie, weenie bit of a thing for Dragons, thought I’d count Dragons instead. First though had to get rid of those noisy sheep so simplest solution was to have the Dragons eat them.

I never did get round to counting the Dragons. I was having too much fun playing with them and flying with them in my imagination to even think about sleeping, so I got up and wrote this